Why nobody understands me

And we know that therapy actually is wonderful for helping alleviate that feeling. Trying to sort everything out by yourself when you are depressed or struggling is hard for the best of us. Sure, therapy can be expensive, but support groups can be low cost or even free, and there are low cost options.

Do you truly not understand that some of us have tried for years, again and again, only to be told to try the same thing. The reality is that you have no idea how people like us fe el. Maybe you got lucky, but not everyone can.

It can definitely feel frustrating when we want so much to be loved and understood but feel totally alone. We do believe everyone can learn to connect to others. And then to look for the similarities between you instead of the differences. How i can move from abusive relationship with people especially my eldery parents who are living in my country. Poor country which i left 10 years ago i had to come back to my native country and now i am struggling and have no chance to go back to foreigh country where i used to live.

Hi Alma, we are sorry you are struggling so much. Do you have anyone to talk to there who you can trust? If not, please do consider a therapist. Nowadays therapists work over Skype, so you can talk to someone anyone in the world. A therapist can help you set boundaries with your parents and learn better ways to communicate with them. Outside of therapy, it can also help to see if there are expat groups in your country where you can engage with people from the foreign country you felt happier in.

Hope that helps. I agree with EM. I have been in and out of therapy since I was 5. I am now I know the game. I have the same issues now as than. Why can therapy not be more like a friend. Not the friends you try to make and they abandon you. The kind you Wish you had. Do you know how many times I had to explain and share the same event? That was my first clue they never listened in the first place. The first 30 minutes of my expensive hour was recapping. What a waste of time and money.

I refuse to seek professional help. I would rather ask the opinions of all those who rejected me their honest opinions as to why and go at it alone. I am so messed up when it comes ro intimacy and trust.

Love is for everyone except me. We are so sorry to hear this Angie. We do understand that not all therapists are right for all clients, and not all types of therapy are right for all issues. In fact some sorts of therapy are entirely wrong or can worsen some issues.

I need a counsellor because i cant talk to people i know,i have this problem and i need to sort it out sooner or never………i can really use your help please.

Osas, thank you for reaching out. You should be able to google search using your address. Otherwise nowadays there are therapists who work with you over the internet no matter where you are in the world, so you can do therapy from home. Hi Osas. Is there a school counsellor you could talk to?

Or have you considered asking your parents to help you see a counsellor? There is an article here explaining how to do so in the best way bit.

If you are in the UK or the USA, look for mental health charities and helplines that work with teens. You can find inspiration here bit. And otherwise, there are many trainee therapists who work with people for a very low cost, which a part time job such as many teen have in the USA and UK would easily cover and cost less than many teens spend on fast food, clothes, music, etc. But this article covers how to find very low cost or free therapy bit.

Not feeling understood is huge. It means we are completely alienated, it leads to depression, anxiety, and worse. We are sorry you are so angry. Perhaps you feel like nobody can understand or help you?

We hope if you do feel that way you consider reaching out for support. Other people are not perfect, but there are many people who do want to help and can understand. If you feel really low, call a free mental health hotline. The listeners who answer really do want to help. That is what they are they for.

Why would I want to create an intimate relationship with a therapist? That right there is weird. We are sorry to hear that you find connecting to others so hard. For most people forming a kind of intimacy in the therapy room is quite normal and not strange.

After all, you are sharing all your thoughts and feelings. We wish you luck finding a therapist you can get along with and that you find beneficial. There is time when we need to ask others for help. This may be a time for me to do that. However, I will never change my ways for someone to define my existence to them so that they can validate me.

Maybe some feel the way they do is because it was difficult being vulnerable as children. Since, most people will hold what you share against you. This includes, doctors, therapists, counselors, teachers and parents. They have been brainwashed into thinking something is wrong with them. The truth is the world we live in is very dysfunctional. It sounds really lonely. We truly hope you do reach out for that help, you deserve it.

All the best. So how do you get to understand yourself, not just on a theoreticle level, but on experience level? I am a person that comes from a extreme background of being abused. Cause people think that I am just a nutcase. Ore they just want to see that, instead of the hardcore reality. If you have an ego, and outer surcumstances that keep you locked in the same situations, of circling around in the same situation of people not understanding you, ore do not hearing you.

When we feel understood, we experience less loneliness and depression. You may need to work on improving your communication so that your intentions are clearer to others.

Feeling misunderstood may be a side effect of depression. Or you may not have found like-minded people who understand you. When we are bullied or grow up in an unsupportive environment, we may adopt a subconscious expectation for future interactions. We may suspect their intentions or distrust their compliments. We may mistake friendly teasing for mean comments. In some cases, we may assume that someone misunderstands us. We either read negative intentions into their words or assume that they take our words as negative.

Or we believe deep down that there is something wrong with us. Children tend to blame themselves when caretakers or peers mistreat them. This type of thinking can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.

We can work to change our core beliefs about ourselves and others. You may have been lucky enough to have found a friend who shares your interest in philosophy or true crime podcasts.

You may have one friend who loves to go out and try new restaurants with you. Another friend may be great for in-depth talks, but not so much for fun nights out or hiking trips.

Releasing our expectation that one person will be able to understand all the different parts of us can release us from disappointment. This Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal cartoon makes a joke out of a complicated reality: we can never fully know another person. Our minds are quicker than our speech. And we may decide that not every thought is worth sharing. Sometimes we expect someone to just understand what we mean because they know us.

We expect them to anticipate our needs, show care in the same way that we do, or understand immediately what they did that upset us. Like most things in life, the truth is more complicated than that. If we understand that no one can be a mind reader or know us on every level, we will be better at dealing with feeling misunderstood. To you, this may sound like an obvious example of asking for help. But your friend may not have picked up on your call for help at all.

They may have thought you just need to vent. Someone may think that you need help, so they will make suggestions for things you can do to improve your situation. But you may end up feeling misunderstood and judged.

The truth is, people misunderstand each other all the time. For example, if you hold a belief that there is something wrong with you, you may feel shame or panic when you feel misunderstood by others. People always misunderstand me. I deserve to be heard, and so do they. These feelings and assumptions often lead to withdrawal, a common symptom of depression. People with rejection sensitivity are on the lookout for any sign of rejection and may misinterpret what other people say or do.

A specific tone or look might make someone with depression feel judged, misunderstood, or rejected and send them into a shame spiral.

Imagine you're a pioneer hundreds of years ago. Your task in life is to survive, to roam around, and to make the most of what you have. You may come across the random person here or there, but, largely, you're exploring the vast landscape before you and in your mind. You can't fend for yourself as well as you used to.

You need to find others to support you in your journey. You're still you, but now you need to work with others to survive and get the most out of life. Most people go through circular journeys of solitude and seeking mixed with community and camaraderie. But what happens inside the mind of the pioneer who is used to spending most of her time alone and figuring it out for herself?

But does her newfound community know that? Do her experiences and thoughts matter to them? I thought I could go it alone and figure out the world all by myself. I thought I could be totally self-sufficient. I didn't feel good enough, and I didn't feel like people would appreciate my unique take on life. But, over time, it hurt too much to not be myself. It was soul-crushing and zapping my energy in the process.

And so I took the risk to share my innermost thoughts with the world through my writing at first, and then, later, through speaking in front of--and with--groups of people. My experiences were unique to me, yes, but they pointed to a reality that we all share: the belief that no can ever know who we truly are. By talking about my quest, I gave people permission to think deeply and speak openly about theirs.

It's quite common to doubt yourself and yell, "Why does no one care about me? But when you shine a light on who you are, others can choose to step into that light if they wish.

They can borrow that light to share their own stories. Or they can use your courage to create some of their own and switch on their own light at some point in the future. But if you do--and I hope you do--you make it brighter, and therefore, safer, for others to do the same. Trust yourself and learn from both the questions you ask and the actions you take in response to those questions.

The strange part of it all is that the more you ask of life, the more you're going to get. Hi there, I'm Jordan Brown. I'm a mental health advocate and social worker who believes in the power of authentic mental health content.

I started The Mental Health Update to empower others with accessible, meaningful mental health information. Each issue contains helpful mental health articles and actionable strategies to improve your mental health. I'm glad you're here. The Mental Health Update. Mental Health Categories. Jordan Brown. I've always felt like sort of an oddball. But it took a long time to come to terms with how I felt--and how I continue to feel. So if you feel that no one understands you, know that you're not alone.

But there's good news. Let's start right off with a big one. I'll be the guinea pig for you. Jordan, why do you need others to understand you? What if Nobody Ever Understands Me? And this one is a doozy. Do you think that's realistic? Why Doesn't Anyone Understand Me? So what's the worst that could happen if no one understands you?